Overview

An expirmental electronic track focused on navigating chaos and pressure. It shows the transition of anxiety (a looming threat of stress) into an actual active stress that one is experiencing.

More

Before it became what it is today, this song began in October of 2025 and was titled "Change How You Feel". It was initially intended to be a song about a relationship, which I was in at the time, that was falling apart. At the time I was frustrated with the constant effort needed to keep the relationship working.

The purpose of the song? To capture that very emotion—the frustration of what felt like one-sided effort. The track was meant to capture the tension that appears when two people understand a situation differently and aren't willing to reconcile their perspectives with each other.

During production the meaning gradually shifted. Instead of focusing on my relationship, the piece turned inward and started focusing on the aspect of navigating internal pressure instead.

I realized, that if I stepped outside the box and captured the overall abstract feeling of navigating internal pressure instead of trying to capture specifically relationship related tension, it would fit perfectly with my previous songs and also capture other aspects of my life that I was going through _beyond_ just the relationship related issues. It was also while making this track that I decided to remove lyrics from "Every Second Ticks" and move toward telling my stories through melody alone—at least for now.

So this track ended up building directly on "Every Second Ticks", but instead of focusing on the anxiety of passing time and pressure, it focuses on what happens after—when that pressure goes from a looming threat causing me anxiety, and turns into something that I'm actually facing.

The main goal of this track was to reflect that pressure through the arrangement itself. Multiple elements compete at the same time—distorted bass, impact hits, layered synths—often overpowering each other instead of cleanly resolving. It’s intentionally chaotic, pushing toward collapse, but never fully breaking (showing that I'm still surviving through the chaos).

Production

Production-wise, I’m not that proud of this track. As someone without a formal music education / background, and someone who only works on music recreationally—my lack of experince in music means there are alot of aspects to production I still need to learn, and this track still had a lot of issues that have been persisting throughout my songs thus far.

Most of my ideas come from the same chords and layers, just played in slightly different ways—usually arps or small variations instead of actual distinct melodies. There isn’t a strong top line carrying the track. Instead, I relied on stacking pads, ambience, and similar patterns to create intensity, which made things feel crowded but not clearly structured. The drums are also pretty basic, and the mix is inconsistent. Overall, it didn’t fully work, but it made the problems obvious—especially my tendency to reuse the same ideas instead of writing separate melodic parts.

Though I didn't like these aspects of this track, this helped me identify the issues that I needed to tackle in my future releases and thus paved the way for me to improve none-the-less :).